I haven’t been very productive lately. And the frustrating thing is that it isn’t because I don’t have ideas. I have plenty of them. I have projects I want to work on, things I want to make, music I want to finish, images I want to create, words I want to write. The desire is…

This week I discovered Galop. I wish I had discovered them under different circumstances. Galop is a UK charity supporting LGBT+ people who experience abuse, domestic abuse, stalking, sexual violence and hate crime. I contacted them because recently I found myself in a situation where I needed help, and even writing that sentence still feels…

Today I picked up my camera and went to Kensington to shoot some footage for my London DJ set. Written like that, it sounds like a completely ordinary part of a creative project: I needed some footage, so I took my camera and went out to film it. But it wasn’t ordinary to me at…

Today I went to the library looking for something about fear. Not because fear is a subject I was particularly interested in studying, but because lately I have been feeling it. Really feeling it. And when an emotion becomes this present in my life, my instinct is always the same: I want to understand it.…

I’m going through a difficult period of my life right now. There are several things happening at the same time, some connected to my health, others to a situation involving abuse and stalking that I am currently getting support for. I don’t want to go into the details here, partly because some things need time…

For a long time, I thought putting other people’s needs before mine was simply part of being a good person. If someone needed something, I tried to be there. If keeping the peace meant adapting, understanding, waiting, forgiving or giving a little more, I did it. I thought empathy meant being able to understand what…

A few days ago, I watched a video talking about embarrassment, and something about it made a strange click in my head. It was talking about how much energy we spend trying not to feel embarrassed. We avoid situations that could make us uncomfortable, we try to hide embarrassment when it happens, we replay things…

I found something I wrote years ago. I had completely forgotten about these pages, and when I started reading them, I expected to have that strange feeling you sometimes have when you meet an old version of yourself. I expected distance. Maybe even relief. I thought I would read those words and think, God, I…

There’s an Italian word I’ve never been able to translate properly into English. Godere. Every time I try, something gets lost. You could translate it as to enjoy, but that feels too light. You could say to savour, but that only works in certain situations. To take pleasure in is closer, but it still doesn’t…

I’ve been thinking about something recently, and the more I think about it, the stranger it seems. Every now and then I hear someone say, “I wouldn’t call myself a photographer,” or “I’m not really an artist,” or “I’m just learning, so I can’t call myself a writer yet.” Every time I hear those sentences,…